Find your life partner
I had no idea how much I had been influenced by Hollywood when it came to identifying what I wanted in an ideal partner. It was watermarked all over my wish list. It was hard to ignore. There was an undertone of entitlement in my wishes. They sounded more like demands than requests or desires.SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: Searching for a Life Partner ~ Mooji
8 ways to find the right partner for you
I had no idea how much I had been influenced by Hollywood when it came to identifying what I wanted in an ideal partner. It was watermarked all over my wish list. It was hard to ignore. There was an undertone of entitlement in my wishes.
They sounded more like demands than requests or desires. My list looked like I was ordering a custom healing balm to soothe my loneliness and lack of self-worth. I used to believe that if two people loved each other, things would work out. I grew up on romantic movies with happy endings and romance novels where unbridled passion takes over logic. In those movies, no matter how difficult the circumstances around the couple were, they would somehow resolve those issues and walk off into the sunset to live happily ever after.
The books I was reading followed the same scripts. I allowed these stories to settle in my mind and heart as truth, as something I should expect—every time. After seeing my belief system, expectations, and how I approached relationships, the reality of it all sat in my stomach for a couple of days. It was no surprise that I had pretty tumultuous relationships since writing that list.
Naturally, I decided to write a new list. I wanted to see how far I had come, if at all. This time, the items on my list seemed far from the requests of an unripe princess who is throwing a temper tantrum. They came from a place of knowing myself deeply and wanting to give myself nothing less than the best.
I knew my unhealed places and my must-haves based on my core values. By now, I had had enough experiences and relationships to know which qualities I need my partner to have for the relationship to not take away from my existing happiness, and contribute to my growth as a human being.
It took me a long time but I get it now: A partner is not a cure for all my problems, or for how good I feel about myself. He is only responsible for his half: his happiness and his choices. He is off the hook from the responsibility of making me happy. Yet, I let myself desire what I desire. For instance, historically, I am attracted to men who can fix anything around the house and find ingenious ways to overcome a problem they encounter while doing that. I desire that. I enjoy that.
But my happiness does not depend on it. There is even a bigger, unexpected benefit to the new version filtered through self-love: this new list feels real, achievable, and believable to me. Because it is based on truth I have gathered about myself. This, of course, increases its power and my faith in it even more. Since I wrote my new list almost three months ago, I feel relaxed in the knowledge that the right partner will show up when he is due.
Not a minute sooner or later. And I have no control over that. I kick back and live my life, enjoy relationships, grow through them, and do not make the guys I date the potential father of my children right away. I let them reveal who they are and I reveal who I am in time, and see if there is enough overlap for us to continue. If you had told me two years ago that I could relax into the arms of the Universe to lead me to my ideal partner, I would not have believed you.
Even though the price of this wisdom was high, I still feel grateful for all my heartaches and disappointments. Through my experiences, I found invaluable pieces of me that I will never give away. If I am here today, enjoying the peace of this knowing, anyone can get here. Here are a few steps to get you going in that direction. See what excites you. What kind of a life do you imagine having if all your wishes came true? Get a little notebook to carry with you at all times and write down everything about you.
I like that. And so does she. That is the gateway to knowing what to look for in a partner who is ideal for you. What makes you feel cared about? What pisses you off to no end?
What do you do when you feel sad, lonely, or desperate? Who do you share your joys with? What kind of a response do you like to get for them? How do you find inspiration in life? What takes away your trust and what keeps it strong? Knowing the answers to these questions will help you know what would keep you happy or what would not take away from the happiness that you create for yourself.
Write this report on yourself from a place of getting to know the person who has lived on this planet, in this body all these years. It is meant to be a loving mirror of who you are, what tickles you, and what takes away your joy. It could take days or weeks to complete. Allow yourself to enjoy the process of getting to know yourself. Write this new list as a celebration of who you are based on what you find out, accept, and love about yourself. That combination is irresistible!
Couple silhouette via Shutterstock. Banu is an intuitive coach and a healer. Her passion is removing emotional, mental, and energetic splinters that create blocks to joy. You can connect with her on her website and her budding Facebook group Heart Alchemy Crusaders. This site is not intended to provide and does not constitute medical, legal, or other professional advice. The content on Tiny Buddha is designed to support, not replace, medical or psychiatric treatment.
It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. Click here to read more. Think Web Strategy. Pay attention to how you meet your own emotional needs. Imagine that you are a non-judgmental secret self-love agent and your job is to provide a report of your findings of this inner research.
About Banu Sekendur Banu is an intuitive coach and a healer. More Posts. See a typo or inaccuracy? Please contact us so we can fix it! Did you enjoy this post? Please share the wisdom :.
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How to Pick Your Life Partner – Part 1
Tired of Tinder? Here's how to find the yin to your yang, as advised by Susan Quilliam of Welldoing. Up until very recently, choosing a partner was a one-off event. Our grandparents would date a little in their teens, then partner up after finishing their studies or starting their career. And that, barring death or uncommon divorce , was that.
Often when people want a new relationship, they either look for someone to complete them or they imagine sharing their life with someone just like them. So they try to present themselves in the best possible light for their imagined future partner—either as one perfect half of a whole or as an ideal version of what they believe their future partner will want. In my experience, finding your soul mate requires a different, far more soul-enriching approach. Here are six steps that worked for me:.
Dating Tips for Finding the Right Person
How about that matching sock? How likely are you to receive that promotion if you don't put in the conscious effort to be noticed? There is, of course, a difference between actively and passively looking for a life partner. Looking for someone actively via dating sites or going out to bars does -- I promise you -- have a much higher success rate than not looking at all does. Yet, actively looking gets tiring, and whether we like to admit it or not, much of who we meet in our lifetime depends on luck. How does one prepare to fall in love? We must understand the type of person that will make us happiest. Not too long ago, one of my readers reached out and we started chatting.
The 3 Most Important Truths To Finding A Partner For Life
Are you single and looking for love? Are you finding it hard to meet the right person? Life as a single person offers many rewards, such as being free to pursue your own hobbies and interests, learning how to enjoy your own company, and appreciating the quiet moments of solitude. For many of us, our emotional baggage can make finding the right romantic partner a difficult journey.
Finding someone to date is challenging enough. Finding a person you can be happy with for the rest of your life can feel impossible. Take your time, spend time with your friends, and take care of yourself.
Мозг как бы не поспевал за ногами. Беккер в очередной раз послал бармену проклятие за коктейль, выбивший его из колеи. Это был один из старых потрепанных севильских автобусов, и первая передача включилась не .SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: Abraham Hicks 2014 - How To Find A Life Partner
Он жертвует всеми планами, связанными с Цифровой крепостью. Хейл не мог поверить, что Стратмор согласился упустить такую возможность: ведь черный ход был величайшим шансом в его жизни. Хейлом овладела паника: повсюду, куда бы он ни посмотрел, ему мерещился ствол беретты Стратмора. Он шарахался из стороны в сторону, не выпуская Сьюзан из рук, стараясь не дать Стратмору возможности выстрелить. Движимый страхом, он поволок Сьюзан к лестнице.
Я подумала, что АНБ его ликвидировало. - Вот. Если АНБ в состоянии вывести пять риолитовых спутников на геостационарную орбиту над Ближним Востоком, то, мне кажется, легко предположить, что у нас достаточно средств, чтобы подкупить несколько испанских полицейских. - Его доводы звучали волне убедительно. Сьюзан перевела дыхание. Энсей Танкадо умер. Вина ляжет на АНБ. - Мы успеем найти его партнера.
Подними! - срывающимся голосом завопил панк. Беккер попробовал его обойти, но парень ему не позволил. - Я сказал тебе - подними. Одуревшие от наркотиков панки за соседними столиками начали поворачивать головы в их сторону, привлеченные перепалкой.
На завтрашний день, пожалуйста. - Ваш брат Клаус приходил к нам? - Женщина вдруг оживилась, словно говорила со старым знакомым. - Да.
Из пулевого отверстия в виске хлестала кровь - прямо на. Росио попробовала закричать, но в легких не было воздуха. Он вот-вот задавит. Уже теряя сознание, она рванулась к свету, который пробивался из приоткрытой двери гостиничного номера, и успела увидеть руку, сжимающую пистолет с глушителем.
- Положите на место. Офицер еще какое-то время разглядывал паспорт, потом положил его поверх вороха одежды. - У этого парня была виза третьего класса. По ней он мог жить здесь многие годы. Беккер дотронулся до руки погибшего авторучкой.
- Дэвид Беккер хороший малый. Не упусти. - Спасибо, шеф. Голос шефа из смешливого вдруг стал жестким: - Сьюзан, я звоню потому, что ты нужна мне. Срочно. Она попыталась собраться с мыслями.
Прямо перед ней во всю стену был Дэвид, его лицо с резкими чертами. - Сьюзан, я хочу кое о чем тебя спросить. - Звук его голоса гулко раздался в комнате оперативного управления, и все тут же замерли, повернувшись к экрану.